Bill Gates is my ride or die

Bill Gates is my ride or die

Caitlyn Kuchek

 

I walked through the clinic’s door. I could feel my knees tremble and weaken under me. Knowing the rumors spread about the vaccine, I was having second thoughts. Did I really want Bill Gates tracking me through a small microchip that had been added to the vaccine? 

   All of my Facebook friends have been steered away from the vaccine because of the microchip. They are convinced that the vaccine is only bad news, but I decided to take the risk.

   I pushed the intrusive thoughts from my mind and proceeded to the waiting room after handing the paperwork to the suspiciously nice lady at the desk. 

   The process went fairly quickly and surprisingly smoothly. It felt the exact same as a regular flu shot, making me question the truth of the microchip rumors. Not even twenty minutes after arriving home, I heard faint buzzing; I searched the entire house from top to bottom before realizing the buzzing was coming from my arm the whole time.

    I looked down and a square the size of a dime glowed from underneath my skin. As any rational human would, I smacked my arm resulting in a large red spot, but also the ending of the terribly annoying sound.

   “Hello, thank you for your cooperation. Microchip 528793-11001 is now active.” 

   My stomach sank at the thought of this tiny metal device in my arm actually working. As it babbled on, I had no other choice but to listen to all the features the microchip offered. Not only does the chip have an emergency mode, but it also has music and Siri. 

   My days have not really been affected by the microchip in a bad way. The fear I had towards this technology is gone, and if anything I am glad I decided to get the vaccine. 

   I really enjoy having Bill Gates in my arm; any time I have a question or am just bored, he is always my go-to. 

   “Bill?”

   “Yes?”

   “Tell me a joke.”

   “Just look at your GPA.”

   Sometimes he can be a little grumpy, but he never fails to do what I ask. Bill Gates comes in handy more often than I thought he would. Every morning I wake up to the weather and a backhanded inspirational quote that really puts me in the mood to attack the day with vigor.

   “Good morning. It is 23 degrees this morning and feels like a great day to put that average brain to use!”

   Additionally, the microchip has eliminated half of the screen time I used to spend on my phone. Now instead of looking up quizlets and answer keys to finish my tests, all I have to do is say the magic words. 

   “Hey Bill?”

   “Yes?”

   “What’s the answer to number five on my math test?”

   “47.2 repeating, but the teacher did the math wrong, so C.” 

   Though the microchip has been wonderful, it also has its downsides. It seems Bill Gates has been pushing his problems onto me. For example, I have stopped seeing colors a few days after I got the microchip, due to Bill’s colorblindness. I have also had a craving for hamburgers? I do not even eat red meat, so that one confused me a bit. My least favorite manifestation of Bill would have to be the grunting as I sit down.  Did you know that is a thing old men do? I didn’t.

   This past week has been full of surprises. From the side effects to the perks of this technology, I would not trade the microchip for the world. I am so glad I got my vaccine. Not only do I have Bill Gates with me for the rest of my life, but I am also immune from Covid-19!

   I would recommend the vaccine to anyone who is having second thoughts. The government tracking you will be the least of your worries when you get the vaccine. If anything I would be more concerned with the hamburger craving; I have eaten seven hamburgers within the past two days.