College students seriously have too much time on their hands

Mitch Frauenheim

An immensely overweight squirrel scampers across the ground as a college student races after it. The student pauses to catch his breath and continues after the squirrel. He knows he has no chance of catching it, but that isn’t his goal. Passersby stare in utter confusion. However, a bunch of seemingly crazed students chasing after squirrels isn’t actually as crazy as it seems at the University of Michigan. In fact, students started a squirrel chasing club. The squirrel may be terrified, but its pursuer receives some great exercise. Oddly enough, this isn’t even the weirdest club that college has to offer. College kids have created some highly abnormal clubs, and most definitely have too much time on their hands.

 

Butter Churning

  Students at Washington University in St. Louis created a club out of what might possibly be the most boring activity known to mankind: butter churning. One day, while just casually discussing butter churning, the students decided to actually give it a shot. They turned to YouTube for proper butter churning technique. Wash U professors need to assign more homework because these kids clearly have too much free time.

 

Cupcakes and Mountain Dew

  University of Utah students have created the perfect club for the students that have an ultimate devotion to cupcakes and Mountain Dew. Cue the creative title: the cupcakes and Mountain Dew club. The unique thing about this club is that the members have done enough service for the community that the university pays for the club to have cupcakes and Mountain Dew at each meeting. These kids seriously need some more papers to write if they have time to create a club dedicated to eating cupcakes and drinking Mountain Dew.

 

Various Squirrel-Related Activities

  The squirrel chasing club is just one of the three clubs at U of M that involve squirrels. There is, of course, a basic squirrel feeding club. There is then an anti-squirrel feeding club. This club is against the values of the squirrel feeders, who feed the squirrels various junky foods, and members attempt to stop squirrel feeding whenever they see it.  The squirrel chasers then attempt to help the squirrels exercise after the squirrel feeders have fed them to the point of obesity. Either the members of these clubs need to sign up for some harder classes, or they aren’t spending enough time on their school work.
  For seniors about to attend college, don’t bother stressing about it. From the way it looks at many universities, there will be more than enough time to take care of work and chase some squirrels along the way.