Relationships are lacking effort


Jada Holmes

Ladies, imagine this. You’re laying in bed on Twitter when all of the sudden you get a text from the one boy who makes your heart skip a beat. You open it, excited to see what it says, but when you do you instantly regret it. Not because you have your read receipts on so he KNOWS you read it, but because of what the text says: “Netflix and chill?” You sigh heavily, roll your eyes, and ignore the text.

  Don’t get me wrong guys, I am NOT an expert in the love department, but from what I see on Instagram and Twitter – neither are a lot of the students at West Ottawa. To a lot of teenagers, texting “Netflix and chill?” seems to be the highest standard for a date. The best of the best. A majority of teenage relationships lack effort, and social media highlights some of the biggest problems with high school relationships.

 Consistency is a very important aspect of dating and brings comfort to a relationship. When consistency isn’t being shown, your partner isn’t going to become as comfortable with you as you’d want. Many relationships run hot and cold, and social media emphasizes this. If one day your phone blows up with kissy faces and cute messages and then the next day you’re being ignored, how would you feel? You’d feel like something is wrong and panic. It’s not hard to start overthinking. When you show consistency, your partners walls begin to fall, and your relationship will start to grow.

   In a healthy relationship when there is a problem, the two people come together and talk it out. No matter how hard it might be, and no matter how long the talk might be. They take the time to listen to their partner, say what they’re feeling, what’s bothering them, and how to resolve it. It may be difficult, but it is the most effective way. Social media allows couples to brush off, or to rush through important conversations. When there is a problem with a teenage relationship, I am willing to bet nine times out of ten, the couple will argue and try to resolve the problem over text. The biggest disadvantage of trying to resolve problems over text is the lack of emotion.  The people arguing can never SEE with their own eyes how the problem is affecting the other. When the two see each other again, there will be a weird tension in the air. Even after the problem is “solved”, it will be brought up again, and the couple is right back where they started. This is a perfect example of lacking in the effort department of a relationship. Trying to solve problems over text is the dumbest way to go about things – it’s also very immature. Think about it, you could text someone one thing and they might interpret it totally different than what you actually meant. They could think there is some hidden message or you are giving attitude when you are just replying. There is a lot of misleading and misunderstanding when arguing over text, which ultimately could make things worse.

  Social media. In my opinion, it is the number one reason relationships aren’t as strong as they could be. The most common complaint I’ve heard is “I’m getting worried because we aren’t Facebook official yet.” IT’S ALL MISLEADING. Just because someone doesn’t have you in their bio, or you guys aren’t “Facebook official”,  doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings for you. It is annoying to think that if a person doesn’t have some type of validation from social media, that they don’t feel as strongly about someone as they would if they did have some validation from social media.

  A lot of teenage relationships are impractical, and need some work. To make your relationship stronger, all you have to do is show more effort. Texting someone “Netflix and chill?” is the smallest amount of effort. Make your partner know that you have strong feelings for them, and do things to let them know they are special to you.