The WOvengers


A sign hangs on the desk of Mrs. Cheney. It reads “My superpower is teaching, what’s yours?” When people think of superheroes, the first idea that comes to mind is the Avengers. But what happens when the staff becomes the Avengers?


Director Nick Fury: Principal Todd Tulgestke

  Nick Fury is the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., also known as the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division (essentially the superhero clique). He uses his strong, authoritative attitude to handle the massive range of personalities that reside in the Avengers. Principal Todd Tulgestke deals with a similar issue here at West Ottawa High School. He must pull together people of all talents and character traits to run a high-functioning high school. At the end of the day, both Fury and Tulgestke lead their respective groups without the world ending. Their matching hairstyles cement the comparison.

Ironman: Instructor Mike Jaeger

  Ironman, a.k.a. Tony Stark, is a billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist. Ask anybody who has seen an Ironman or Avengers movie, and they say that Ironman is a confident, charismatic genius. Now, who does that sound like? Biology teacher Mike Jaeger fits the bill perfectly. His students say he is one of the smartest teachers in the school, no matter the subject. On the outside, Jaeger might not seem like a powerful man, much like Stark. But once he starts speaking, one understands the genius within. If Jaeger had the same funds that Stark is blessed with, he would surely build way better suits than Ironman, but for now, he will settle for the superpower of teaching biology more effectively than anyone in the universe.

Thor: Instructor Brad Vredevoogd

  Thor is the son of Odin, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. He has incredible talents. Thor is the Asgardian god of thunder. This bestows him with the powers of flight and control of the weather. He also possesses the enchanted hammer Mjolnir, which only the worthy can control. Art teacher Brad Vredevoogd was also blessed with incredible abilities. He produces art that is out of this world. His brush, pencil, pen, and hands are his hammer. Only the worthy can produce art like Vredevoogd, and he is very worthy. Not to mention that Thor and Vredevoogd sport equally luscious, flowing locks.

Hulk: Instructor Jeff Bauer

  Dr. Bruce Banner is a genius in the field of physics. He also takes interest in the field of gamma radiation, the source of the power of his alter-ego: the Hulk. When he is exposed to extreme stress and anxiety he turns into a giant green rage monster. He becomes extremely muscular and powerful. Instructor Jeff Bauer takes a great interest in the sciences as well. He is brilliant in the classroom, but Bauer also brings the energy outside the classroom. When he steps into the gym, he is exposed to the game of basketball. This turns him into coach Jeff Bauer. When he is in his Hulk form, Bauer brings the energy with his team always loud and encouraging. Although Hulk’s powers come from anger and rage, Bauer’s come from support and love for the game.

  Captain America: Instructor Ryan Burke

Captain America was originally known as Steve Rogers. That is until he tried to enter the military and was told he was too scrawny. He was put into “Operation: Rebirth” to bulk up. The “Super Soldier Serum” and “Vita-Rays” successfully made Captain America into a man of maximum human efficiency. Science teacher Ryan Burke needs no “Super Soldier Serum” to be the pinnacle of fitness. Burke is an assistant coach for the West Ottawa Girls Varsity volleyball team. In this role, he is calm, cool, and collected, but he turns up the intensity when he needs to. Captain America exhibits a similar personality, using a calm demeanor to carry out missions. But when the situation calls for it, Captain America steps on the gas and saves the country. Captain America and Burke not only have very similar character traits, but also very similar looks, with the ripped physique and sandy blonde hair. Also, nobody has ever seen them in the same room together.

  Hawkeye: Instructor Shanna Meyer

Hawkeye is not the prototypical superhero. He does not possess super strength, a genetic mutation, or the ability to fly. Though he does not have any superhuman skills, he possesses one skill that is by far superior to anyone else. Hawkeye, formerly known as Clint Barton, is the greatest archer and marksman in this world or any other. He has perfect eyesight and hand-eye coordination to shoot down any target with precision. Math teacher Shanna Meyer does not have great accuracy with a bow and arrow, but she does have one skill far superior to any other person. She is better at calculus than anyone in our universe. She  does integrals and derivatives in her head like it is 2 + 2. Meyer is not superhuman, but she can easily run with the Avengers.

  Black Widow: Security Guard Sharon DeWit

Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. Black Widow, was originally a Russian spy. She was groomed from birth the do the dirty work for the Russian government. Eventually, she defected to the United States, joined the spy agency S.H.I.E.L.D., and became a member of the Avengers. She is a world class spy. She hides in the shadows and pounces into action when she senses danger. Security Guard Sharon DeWit is West Ottawa’s very own spy. She sits behind the desk looking at cameras throughout the building. Just like Black Widow, DeWit can see you, even when you can’t see her. But when the time comes, DeWit can step into the action.  

  These did not include other avengers like Black Panther, Ant-Man, Scarlet Witch, and Vision, but do these superheroes also walk the halls of West Ottawa?