Hate is like a sneaky bandit in the night. But instead of creeping into houses, hate sneaks into the mind when we have been hurt, betrayed or offended. It whispers and promises that this feeling will bring justice or relief to the mind. Hatred is not only a powerful emotion, but also dangerous. Hate is a poison that spreads throughout the mind and soul all the way to the heart which darkens your perspective on your everyday life. Feeling resentment towards someone does not resolve the issue. The issue just goes deeper and deeper into the heart and soul.
When I remember all the times I’ve felt hate, not one of those memories have I ever felt peaceful hating someone. I actually felt worse, and hate never brought me closer to forgiving them. This happens because the hatred spreads throughout your mind and perspective. It feels like a heavy weight on your shoulders, affecting almost every aspect of your life.
When we don’t choose hate, we free ourselves from the chains of negativity and allow kindness and empathy to flow through. Forgiveness doesn’t mean to excuse the other person’s actions, but allowing yourself from the grasp of darkness in your heart. Less hate and more forgiveness lets you continue forward with a clear mind and kind heart.
From my perspective, as a person of the Catholic faith, hate is completely opposed to God’s nature and commandment. His scripture to the world reminds us that we should love each other as God loves us, (John 13:34). As Christians, we are called to love anyone and everyone, even our own enemies. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus taught, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
The burning question; is it acceptable to hate people who have done terrible evil? For example Hitler—he tried to eliminate the entire Jewish population as well as people with disabilities and in the LGBTQ+ community. Osama Bin-Laden supervised the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers with 19 hijackers; killing 2,977 not including the hijackers. No matter what kind of vile acts these people and many others have committed, despite the situation it is STILL not right to hate them.
Now, why? Why can’t we hate these people? As difficult as it may seem, we have to remember that Jesus modeled himself as a ray of love and sunshine but he was still nailed to the cross by the people who hated him. He was sliced, whipped, punched, spat on, stabbed, and thrown. Jesus appeared as if he had been mauled by a group of aggressive grizzly bears. He was covered with his own blood, in pain everywhere and getting poked by the extremely sharp thorns from his given crown. Even after all of this torture, Jesus still said to God, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
“What if I am not a believer?” You might ask. Regardless if you’re not a believer, it’s still wrong to hate. Hate creeps into your mind and steals your mental and emotional energy, often harming yourself more than the directed person. Hate leads to bitterness, stress and even physical health issues like high blood pressure and a weak immune system. Carrying the weight of hatred on your shoulders brings you down. The feeling can trap you in a cycle of negativity and prevent yourself from moving forward in your life and finding peace. Choosing to not hate someone, allows yourself a fresh perspective and personal growth. It allows us to consider empathy and understanding, even if we don’t exactly agree with or condone the actions they’ve done. Hating someone ties our happiness to their actions or existence, which allows them to have control over your emotions and affect you even more after the harm has been done. Forgiving them or deciding to let go of that hatred without condoning their actions, is a way to break that invisible barrier or tie with them. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves to set our hearts free and focus our minds on what makes us feel happy or at peace.
The most important part is learning how to not hate. Let’s paint a scenario and say your neighbor shoots and kills your dog. You will obviously feel resentment and anger towards them. The feeling of hatred can lead you to more harm rather than healing and moving on. Hatred can often blur your judgment and make it more difficult to move forward. For example, if you were to make a plan for revenge, it could make the situation worse and damage the peace in your mind. Hating them and planning to retaliate, will not undo what was done. Instead, you can choose to process your mind with grief and seek justice to allow yourself to honor the dog’s memory. Once again, releasing hatred does NOT excuse their actions but frees you from the tight and powerful grip of resentment.
Letting go of hate is never easy, and certainly isn’t an overnight change. It’s a change that requires patience and prayer. I began to focus on what the other person felt. What could they be feeling? Could they have felt they didn’t do anything wrong? Or could they have felt that I was in the wrong. There could be a possibility that they could’ve been hurting in a way we as a person could not understand. Regardless of the situation, we have to remember that everyone is human; they have flaws, they’ve made mistakes.
