The average person goes through three heartbreaks in their lifetime. These three moments of heartbreak are the most dramatic periods in the average person’s life. One can never escape a breakup without some sort of emotion, whether intense joy or muted sadness. Either way, everyone could use some breakup advice from veterans of heartbreak.
DON’T:
DATE IMMATURE PEOPLE
“Don’t date immature people,” Alum. Alexis Truax said. A simple concept, yes, but a difficult practice. How does one identify an immature person? For starters, immature people get defensive when confronted with conflict. When in disagreements, they often turn aggressive quickly. Immature people are impatient, closed-minded, and hostile when things don’t go their way. They could be the coolest person normally, but they change at the drop of a hat. The key to a clean breakup is to pick a mature partner to begin with.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD
“When looking back, don’t focus on all that went right in the beginning,” Truax said. Though much easier to remember the happy memories, remember, the break up happened for a reason. The great memories are sweet to look back on, but these memories are just that: memories.
KEEP CONTACT
“If you keep contact or ‘being friends’ neither of you will be able to move on and find someone better!” Jr. Lauren Espy said. Breakups are so hard because they are your partner, and you do everything with them. Suddenly you can’t send them posts on Instagram or walk to 3rd hour with them. To avoid the pain of losing a best friend, some people try to just be friends. This almost never works unless gone about delicately. Go at least a month no-contact. Grow a little independantly.
GO BACKWARD
“Don’t go backward. Keep breakups breakups,” Adam Davis said. Like previously mentioned, breakups happen for a reason. For the most part, keeping breakups breakups is the responsible thing to do. That being said, if someone wants to get back with their ex, there are some key topics to ponder. What ultimately caused the breakup? What has changed since the breakup? Be honest with yourself.
DO:
BE REALISTIC
“Remember the big or small instances that led to the breakup. Try not to look at it through rose colored glasses. This usually helps with moving forward and not dwelling,” Truax said. Things happen. Remembering why you’re not meant for someone is the best way to process and accept the heartbreak. Don’t look back and undermine the original problems in the relationship. You deserve better than that.
TRUST THE PROCESS
“Breaking up is tough. It’s hard to see clearly when you are in the middle of a breakup, especially if you did not initiate the breakup or if you did not want it to end. Once you make it to the other side you can normally understand what went wrong and hopefully you take some knowledge forward with you. Every failed relationship comes with a lesson of some kind,” Sondra Davis said. Feeling like the relationship was a waste of time is all too common. What people forget is that every time they fail, they learn something. It is essential to trust the process and learn from it.
HAVE FAITH
“Have faith that things will get better, and obsessing over it just makes it hurt more,” Sr. Sarah Drummond said. Sometimes, the best choice is to just let things go. Fixating on the breakup is not productive for anyone. It’s okay to grieve the relationship, that is normal, but don’t let the grieving run your life.
Don’t make the situation messier than it needs to be. Surround yourself in the people you love. In the end, everything is going to work itself out. Good luck, West Ottawan reader.
