“Oh my gosh I didn’t realize we had to perform at the homecoming assembly! That is going to be so embarrassing for me,” a castmate in the musical Disaster! said.
My heart was sad for them at this moment. Another beautiful soul with the infection that has been ripping through high schools since the beginning of time. They are infected with a case of chronic Self-Fixation Syndrome.
Self-Fixation Syndrome is a common disorder that starts showing symptoms around middle school. The symptoms are as follows: caring a little too much about what people think, not taking opportunities because of fear of public opinion, and fearing judgment in most situations.
Self-Fixation Syndrome may not be an official disorder, but it still infects a staggering amount of our population.
Scientifically, preteens and teenagers are programmed to feel self-conscious. In the early 1900s, Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget stated that children lack the ability to understand others’ point of view, so they believe that everyone is judging them. “Egocentrism … means confusion of the ego and the external world,” Piaget said.
Self-Fixation Syndrome sounds like a personal problem, but really it is not the fault of teenagers. It is literally in our nature.
The sad reality is that in a high school, students are all at different levels of cognitive development. Some people are in the thick of it, and others can see the light at the end of the tunnel. As a result, sometimes teenagers judge other teenagers about being “weird” for just being themselves.
Personally, I’ve become less self-critical, likely as a symptom of my senioritis. Recently, I have noticed moments where I didn’t feel embarrassed to be me when I would have a year ago. For example, the other day I stood up in front of my class and I begged for a Chromebook charger. Nobody responded. Blank stares around the room. A few giggles at my expense. I sat back down. It’s all right!
Last hour, I danced along to a song Mr. Strobel was playing in class. I received not so kind comments about my dance performance from my friends. Obviously they were making these jokes in a light hearted manner, but it still makes me think. How many people want to dance along to music in class but can’t because they’re scared of what other people will say? What age of high schoolers does Self-Fixation Syndrome affect most?
“Definitely the younger ones… I want to say that, but then I think about my middles and I would maybe say my sophomore-juniors maybe have the hardest time and they hold on to embarrassment the longest, I would say,” Instructor Erin Stier said.
What Stier said can be corroborated using science as well as personal experience in high school. Thinking backward, my freshman year was for branching out and coming out of my shell. I had bright pink hair and every day was a fashion show. I was dressing to impress, and I didn’t care if anyone thought I looked silly.
My sophomore year, I started to be sucked into the herd. I toned down my outfits, and my pink hair turned blonde. I started to care about fitting in with everyone else. I had never felt that way before.
Toward junior year, I started to care a little less. My hair was still normal color, and I dressed like everyone else. I mostly cared about curating an image for myself. I desperately wanted to fly under the radar and fit in.
Senior year, I still care a bit about what other people think, but it has gotten easier to be authentically me. Being true to myself doesn’t mean I am always loud and obnoxious, being me is as simple as wearing what I want when I want. Over are the days of feeling uncomfortable in silence. Over are the days of talking to people I don’t want to talk to just to fit in. Feeling comfortable to be myself is so freeing.
However, sometimes it feels like the entire world is trying to embarrass me. There have been days where I feel like my teachers purposefully call on me to watch me stumble over my answers, and there have been times I’ve had to read an excerpt and it’s like I’ve never read anything in my life. Sometimes I dream of a solution to feeling embarrassed, because it is truly the worst. As someone who is interested in going into education, I was curious how to let my students avoid embarrassment as much as possible.
“I try to make myself as vulnerable as possible because then that adds an element of trust. If I’m not willing to do the same things I’m asking people to do, why would they do those things for me? I try to make it clear that trying is more important than being perfect and just generally trying to encourage that. Like, there’s no wrong answer in letting your voice be heard, if that makes sense,” Stier said.
Could this be the cure to Self-Fixation Syndrome? The realization that there is no wrong answer in letting your voice be heard is a freeing notion that many high schoolers need to hear. It is okay to be wrong, but to never try because of the fear of being embarrassed is not okay.
I hope everyone reading this will spread that message, and I hope everyone strives to create an environment where everyone feels safe to use their voice. That is the only cure to the disease ripping through high schools everywhere.
