Roll credits: The best and worst


Jack O'Brien

I’m a movie theater employee. I could be going out and watching every new movie in theaters for free, but why would I? I see the most important part of every movie on my shifts themselves: the credits.

Most people don’t pay much attention to movie credits (unless there’s a post-credits scene coming up), but movie theater employees know credits by heart. If you don’t believe me, ask any employee what the after credits song to Minions: The Rise of Gru is. Trust me, they remember.

As moviegoers leave the theater to enjoy the rest of their days, employees are left cleaning seats and aisles while listening to the same tunes with the same text. With enough viewings of the same credits, I’ve noticed which are better, and which are worse. That’s why I’m here to entirely objectively rate (on a scale of 1 to 10) the most interesting credits scrolls currently in theaters.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3


This one is pretty incredible. Because it’s the last film in the series, the credits include scrapbook-esque images of all three movies, as well as a few from other projects like Avengers: Infinity War and The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special. Obviously, the soundtrack is classic throwback tunes you’d expect from the Guardians of The Galaxy series. The credits are nostalgic, and reminds audiences of all the incredible moments these iconic characters have shared over their decade of existence. If the movie itself didn’t make you cry, these credits might just do the trick. 9/10

  • The Super Mario Brothers Movie


While I enjoyed this movie, I’m not its biggest fan. The credits are a different story. Both the initial stylized credits and the second set of black and white credits are set to an incredible medley of the best tunes from the Super Mario Brothers franchise. The first credits are exciting, with the same beautiful animation style as the movie, including lots of action and movement to keep audiences watching until the end. As a theater employee, I must admit that while the music is great, its repetitive nature gets grating after a few listens. I’ve found myself unable to get the medley out of my head for literal weeks, and while that might be a sign of well-written music, for me, it’s just plain annoying. 8/10

  • The Book Club: The Next Chapter


This movie’s existence baffles me. A whole movie about a group of old women just sight-seeing around Italy. The film seems to be banking on the success of the brand new “four elderly actresses star together in a comedy” genre, popularized by 80 For Brady earlier this year. The movie’s credits speak to my confusion about its existence. The credits include the movie’s only original song, “Together With You,” which is a generic pop beat sung over by the movie’s leading ladies. Even with a heavy helping of autotune, the actresses’ voices on this track are out of place and grating. If you haven’t heard it, I would recommend you do. Everyone needs a healthy ear trampling every once in a while. The song drags the credits down from being average to being a bafflingly painful listen. 1/10

  • Are you There God? It’s me, Margaret.


I haven’t seen this movie, but it invokes a certain memory of low budget family movies from the early 2010s. That includes incredible projects like Ramona and Beezus, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, and far too many more. They were the kind of bright yet soulless movies that moms enjoy and dads fall asleep in. The credits are similarly bland. Not offensive, not great, not interesting in the least. Boring guitar music with vaguely inspirational lyrics, bright graphics, with about the same creativity as a hand towel. 3/10

  • Air


These credits begin with a few clips of Michael Jordan speaking at his induction to the Basketball Hall of Fame, specifically focusing on his mom’s (an important character in the film) role in his life. In the background plays the classic commercial tune “Be Like Mike,” which is catchy yet short enough to still be pleasant after multiple listens. The rest of the credits are basic score and white text, but the introduction is sweet and enjoyable enough to leave a good taste in the audience’s mouths. 7/10

  • Evil Dead Rise

Horror movie credits are a lot of the same. Text looks scratched, flashes of gorey visuals appear sporadically, and the score is nearly always identical. Composers employ a set of audio cues they think sound “creepy.” Things like mosquito buzzing sounds, creaking doors, childrens’ screams, and occasional intense beats from the orchestra invoking the feelings of a jumpscare. The Evil Dead Rise credits don’t deviate from the formula whatsoever, in fact they’re a perfect model of it. Would it be too much to ask for just a few changes? Maybe some more interesting visuals? Or a song anyone might think of listening to once they leave the theater? I didn’t think so. 3/10