Nature or Nurture?
Far too frequently there is too much harmful gender segregation with society. The effects of girls being taught to be kind and loving while boys are taught to be strong and aggressive. Some are subtle and too many are harmful. Let’s explore where we can see these traits and how changes can be made.
During your next visit to Target, the differences between the boy and girl toy aisles are very clear. Tucked between the sporting goods and the baby section, a wash of hot pink, soft toys, and loving faces on the dolls will greet you when you walk down the female-leaning toy aisle, in contrast to what you will find when you visit the boy’s section complete with a dark pallet, hard surfaces, and shelves filled with toys that seem to encourage fighting, war, and anger. You may also see parents scouring the shelves for the perfect gift for their daughter or son. There is a high probability they will shop in the aisle aligned with their child’s gender. Children are programmed to play with what is in front of them, regardless if they are given a truck, a doll, or even some spoons, they will be happy based toys do not matter to kids. Should parents care less about staying within these guidelines?
If the toys were more integrated, this could benefit children’s roles and behaviors later in life.
Daughters are often encouraged to always “be nice”. Caring gently for toys with faces. This does not train girls to stand up for themselves.
When girls are taught to be kind and loving and when boys to be aggressive, are we setting them up for struggles later in life? Parents can define their son’s gender by distancing them from anything feminine. Encouraging rough housing, masculine geared toys construction vehicles, guns, and other weapons. Some parents question why their child is getting into fights or trouble at school when it may be their own doing by fostering an aggressive environment.
While daughters are often encouraged to be gentle, kind, and caring with toys of a nurturing nature. Baby dolls, stuffed animals, and Barbies. They may be discouraged from energetic play such as roughhousing or playing with cars, trucks, and other toys geared for boys.
In the classroom boys often dominate.
Do these gender roles play out in education? Some may say ”yes” Boys often dominate conversations, while girls tend to stay quiet and not ask for help in the classroom.
If interruptions by boys have no consequences, they learn that inserting unnecessary comments is acceptable. Boys yell their way into conversations, while girls may believe their voices are less valued resulting in them being less confident and more reserved.
Researchers know estrogen and testosterone create differences between men and women. Estrogen creates maternal behavior, the nurturing characteristic that so many women share. In contrast, testosterone is responsible for aggressive, and territorial behavior in men. Scientists say how this occurs in our bodies needs to be better understood.
Lots of studies on animals and humans prove this point. Males and females can act like they are from different planets sometimes these two hormones are partly responsible, but how it happens in the brain is a mystery.
All of these could lead into so many harms.
Considering some boys may be allowed to be aggressive this also trickles into driving. Other drivers can make them angry or challenge them and they could struggle with having no self-control behind the wheel. So they may act out with anger, high speeds, road rage, and other lawbreaking behaviors. Their female peers tend to be more rule-abiding. If a man is cultured to be aggressive and he gets cut off in traffic and proceeds to chase down the car he may encounter another aggressive man with a gun. Our roads and highways are filled with drivers navigating their feelings which include men being more hot-tempered while the woman on the other end are fearful. Parents should focus on teaching their children to regulate their feelings.
This brings us to the important topic of safety and how these gender roles play out. If a woman is approached by a stranger asking for assistance, their kindness could put them in danger. Since she has been taught her whole life to be kind and helpful it is difficult if not impossible for her to not help and or say no. Not only with strangers but also could be a problem with those close to her. Anytime a woman feels unable to put her own safety ahead of hurting someone’s feelings it could put her at risk. This could result in dangerous or harmful situations.
Comparably, it can be difficult for two angry men to resolve without escalation. Once past a certain point managing emotions becomes nearly impossible. A fistfight could easily amplify to include weapons.
Outside influences and parental actions seem to play a big role in why girls tend to be more kind and loving whereas boys tend to be more strong and aggressive. Is it beneficial to becoming confident adults or is it causing more harm than good? These are all things that we need to be thoughtful of.
Society is teaching females to never disappoint others and males to never be disappointed. Kindness should never be used to take advantage of someone. On the flip side, being able to accept “no” as an answer should be applauded. Anger should not be the first reaction when anyone is told “no.” Don’t forget that “no” is a full sentence.
These ideas are not meant to point fingers at all parents or certain people. This article is meant to bring awareness to the issue of gender contrasts. We could start by exploring the gap and, learning how to come together to teach each other beneficial traits. How could society make positive changes? Toy companies could do a better job of creating more toys that are inclusive of both boys and girls with gender-neutral colors. Parents could consider their language and actions in raising tough girls and compassionate boys. Teachers should be educated and aware of including students who might be unheard, and standing up to boys who may silence others.
To fix these actions, we have to realize that everyone has an effect, good or bad. While our world is made up of many different energies, they can coexist and complement one another. All emotions, including kindness, love, strength, and even aggression, have pros and cons if understood and displayed appropriately.
