Anyone could go up to someone and ask them, “What do you look for in a partner?” They would sway side to side as they think. Their eyes would shoot back and forth as they try to come up with their type. But if asked, “What do you not want in a partner?” traits would simply tumble out of their mouths.
Boys
Ms. Unreliably Incompetent
Coming home from a long day at school, he waited by his phone for a text for three hours until he gave up. She forgot him. Unreliable people, or people who walk through life mindlessly tend to cause problems and lead an irresponsible or carefree life. They are like the designated driver for a long road trip, but they do not know how to use the GPS. Their partner is always worried about what they could be doing without them. “It’s messy and makes their partner stressed; they make me angry and it’s a problem starter,” Jr. Mieke Vanderkolk said. It is all fun and games until they forget the car keys, their phone, or even a birthday.
The Dirty One
Imagine a scent that is ripe but somewhat stale at the same time, possibly on the same gross level as a squishy banana; what would you think if a girl’s car smelled like that? People think of girls and think of sweet-smelling flowers and light perfume. People would expect their car or room to smell like that too. Some girls have messy rooms and that can be a major turn-off for guys. They prefer their girls with clean hair and lint-rolled shirts. “It’s a deal breaker if she’s dirty,” Preston Allen said. Bedraggled is a nightmare word for guys like Allen.
The Codependent
If someone has a little sibling they would understand how much work it is, whether their parents make them babysit them or buy them food all the time. “When they expect to be taken care of, kind of like a child. A relationship should be an even amount of work,” said Sr. Frankie Pineda. Having a child-like partner is just like that. They’ll ask for favors 24/7, and always need something from their partner. Independence is important in a relationship. Both partners should be okay if they are not with each other all the time. Overly codependent people tend to fall in the same category. They make what should be a 50/50 relationship more of a 30/70 relationship.
The Fixer-Upper
Not many guys want a girl who has unresolved issues. One minute they are enjoying pizza and watching a movie, but the next they are taking a part-time job in consoling their partner from past childhood memories. Many little problems could spiral into week-long arguments. A lot of the time they expect their partner to walk their emotional baggage out to the car and “fix” their problems. Sr. Noah Brennan said, “They seek validation from other men so they talk to other guys.” That can also be a problem because it can lead to cheating and jealousy. They can find themself walking through a minefield of emotions trying to make sure their partner does not blow up.
Girls
The Know-It-All
Some people think they know everything. When asking them a question they always give off the nerd emoji vibes. Jr. Caeli Anwen absolutely hates when a partner acts like they know everything. “People who think they know everything make me mad, they’re so annoying,” Anwen said. “Compared to someone who is willing to learn and listen, it just causes so many problems.” They are always correcting their partner, “No, you’re wrong” or “No, that’s not how it goes.” Acting like a smartie pants is not a good way to keep a partner. They are like playing trivia with an encyclopedia; sure, it is good to have knowledge but someone does not want to hear a 3-hour lecture about why doing homework is important. Many short stories turn into full-blown lectures.
The False Hope Giver
Giving false hope to people is like giving a kid a unicorn on their birthday; only to reveal that it is just a horse with a party hat on. It is a major letdown. It can also be so draining when a partner promises to change their bad behaviors and they do not. They keep giving false hope that they will change and that they will get better. Sr. Naylea Ramirez said, “It’s so draining because it doesn’t improve the relationship, it really doesn’t improve anything.” They avoid conflict by walking around it and that can ruin the relationship since they cannot openly communicate. They are the kind of people to give someone a treasure map to find buried gold, but it only leads to a dirty pile of laundry.
Mr. Trust Issues
Trust is an important foundation of healthy relationships. When a partner has trust issues “It’s definitely a problem starter. It’s weird that they have to know where I am all the time,” Sr. Montserrat Ramirez said. A major sign of a toxic/unhealthy relationship is a lack of trust. They are like detectives on a never-ending case. They turn innocent, late-night phone calls into high-stakes episodes of Criminal Minds. Most people do not want their partner to constantly question them about where they went or who they were with. “It’s annoying when they try to control me,” Ramirez said. It can be tiring when they feel like they always need to go through their partner’s phone. Trust issues can lead to unnecessary conflicts that can hinder relationships.
The Cheater
Cheaters are like the people who bring fruitcakes to a party; no one really wants them there and they leave a bad taste in your mouth. Girls do not want to date a guy who gives his attention to another girl. Especially if it is romantically. Cheaters can be the worst kinds of partners. They hide their phones and tell lies to keep their hidden relationship a secret. “You can’t build anything out of lies; it’s a faulty foundation,” said Sr. Olivia Luhmann. It is not common for a girl to say, “My boyfriend cheats on me and I am okay with it.” People want their partner to be exclusive, because is that not what a relationship is? Many people, including Luhmann, will argue “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
