“Together, Together, Together everyone!”  At a very young age, the East High Wildcats taught me that high school was an environment  you had to fit in and find your place if you wanted to be likable. High school cliques have a “stay in your own lane” connotation. I wondered if that was just in my head. I wondered if people were more welcoming than they came across to be. If only we had more of a chance to get to know each other, then maybe cliques wouldn’t be such a barrier.      

           This concept of being “liked” made me curious. I started to reflect on my own grade school journey. My own K-12 experience has been a wild ride. Starting off in the small town of Midland, Michigan, I entered my kindergarten class with my pigtails and pink Disney Princess backpack and was scared out of my mind. The class started, we were all in a circle on the foam puzzle rug, with residue of who knows what. We were no more than 5 minutes in when. I farted; yes, I farted. That was the very first time I experienced the judgment of my classmates’ stares, it was also not the last. 

           I feel as though grade school through middle school is meant for facing pure humiliation in front of our peers. Whether that be in the form of peeing your pants while playing gaga ball, sitting in granola and having it crusted to your Cat & Jack leggings for the whole day unknowingly, purposely splashing water on your mascara so that you can be comforted after the breakup email you received, or posting “11:11” at 11:11 pm to see if “he knows it’s him.” 

            High school is a whole different story. The night before my first day of freshman year I saw it as a fresh start, a clean slate. I had always heard that “high school is so much better” “Oh, you will thrive in high school”.

           Being the oldest sibling, and oldest cousin, I didn’t have very much insight on high school. I would always reference High School Musical, and a wide array of other Disney Channel series. In watching these shows and movies, I had this depiction that I had to fit in a group, and had to be popular in order to be deemed attractive, or have a bunch of glamorous friends. 

           “I think when people think of these groups, I think of your typical high school movies, the mean girls, the jocks, the nerds,” Jr. Liliana Montes said.  The way movies and tv shows have depicted high school took a real hold on my view walking into that first day of freshman year. 

           I thought it would be so much easier walking into freshman year with an established group of friends. I was envious of the groups in my grade who have been friends for years. I came to join West Ottawa Public schools my 5th grade year. Since then I have always been considered a floater, I didn’t really know where I fit. 

             “I would say that football and basketball are especially emphasized. More people  attend the football and basketball games than other sports. The Black Hole (West Ottawa’s student section at games) often posts more about it on social media and there seems to be more overall support. I would like to see more widespread support among different sports and activities,” Frosh. Joel Cosgrove said. 

            Just like Troy Bolton the athletes in high school are glorified at West Ottawa. For this reason,  I would often be intimidated by athletes growing up. There is this stigma that athletes are seen as mean and judgmental in high school. However, when really getting to know someone for more than just their strengths, I found that their presence is one I greatly enjoy. “I would say that I am considered “popular” at WO.  There is definitely a stereotype that the popular kids are narcissistic and mean.  I say this because people have told me that they have avoided me because they have thought that I was mean, when in reality, all of my friends know that I am just a big teddy bear,” Jr. Grant Honeycutt said.

            When I did start to realize that high school is not as intimidating as it’s seen to be in the movies. I slowly started to see that fitting in wasn’t such an obstacle anymore. “Carrying yourself with open acceptance to those around you, will speak volumes of your character”. Said Jr. Levi Benson. 

       Slowly, I found it within myself to embrace the qualities that I deem to be attractive within my character. Little by little, my care of what others would think started to disappear. I used to be ashamed of my passion in music and theater because I thought my peers would see it as weird or nerdy. There will always be those who judge you, but I found that when I was proud and secure within myself; that judgment became less loud in my head.

         Sr. Faith Kawai is a student at Kamehameha High School in Honolulu, Hawai’i.  Kawai is heavily involved in the performing arts, she is president of her drama club, a member of concert glee, and a song contest director for the women’s song (in ‘ōlelo). “Our students themselves are inclusive regardless of what you do. If you’re proud of your hobbies and excel at them, people will notice and commend you. There’s always some jerks who will be rude and make fun of people for doing art or theater or what not, but in general, people are pretty accepting”. Said Kawai.  

        “I can name plenty of people at my school who aren’t  considered “normal” but they fit in because they have confidence in themselves and they are funny”. Said Black River student, Jr. Hayden Bauman.

          Confidence is key. Going into high school with very little confidence, I thought the world was out to get me. But, through the years I learned that perhaps the barrier was not in fact cliques, perhaps the barrier was my own harsh criticism of myself. When I started to let go of my insecurities and intrusive thoughts, I saw a much stronger version of myself. I took my chances to make new friends, to immerse myself in areas I was passionate about, to talk more to people and to listen rather than assume. I learned more about myself and the high school environment around me in taking these steps. “Nonthlesses if one seeks change in the way they are treated they must first seek to change themselves”. Said Sr. Jullian Carrier.

            I learned that just as I found myself to be better through growth, people around me were better too. Assuming one’s entire personality based off of just some of their strengths is just a small look into who they are as a whole. Eleanor Ervine is the president of NHS as West Ottawa High school and has a wide array of interests such as traveling and furthering her skill in learning french and pursuing tennis.  “I don’t think an external perception of who I associate with is of any importance or truth concerning my identity or personhood. On that note, I doubt that a label based on a single shared interest of a group of people could accurately capture the character of each individual in that group”. said Sr. Eleanor Ervine. 

          High school, from a Hollywood standpoint,  is made out to be this giant maze to navigate. To an extent it is, but in reality it all comes down to self discovery. The discovery that we all have our differences, but these differences is what makes the journey of high school so interesting. Security within yourself and who you are, is what will allow you to thrive. Through that security you can build understanding of your environment through relationships and connections. You can learn so many new aspects in the makeup of people, just on a daily basis. That is one of the perks of the high school atmosphere. That is the upside to taking your chances in putting yourself out there. “It’s important to remember that everyone is different and is unique in their own way, you just have to get to know someone to realize that they can be a really cool person, and that you may have more in common than you think”. said Holland Christian student, Fr. Jake Nicely.  

           All and all, I grew up with an impression of being afraid I would never fit into the ideal mold in a high school environment. However, through my own personal growth, trial and error, and having confidence in myself. I realized that there is no ideal mold. That there is no barrier. That there was nothing holding me back from my potential, other than myself. When I broke away from the false reality of “everyone is judging me” I saw a much more inviting atmosphere, one of opportunity to learn from my peers.

          Even in writing this article, I saw that the assumptions I would have made of someone based off of their involvement in areas of strength, or the people they hung around; were far from who they really were. We are all experiencing and facing the giant sea of high school together.

          We are all growing up and going through our own personal journeys together. So instead of judging each other, taking the approach of listening and getting to know each other as well as ourselves  is much more rewarding and all worthwhile in these 4 years of our lives as teenagers. We have to make the most of them; because by doing so, we can take with us memories, moments, and friendships that could last a lifetime.