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MEMORANDUM OF CONVERSATION 

SUBJECT: Methods to Drive Public Support of Republican Agenda

PARTICIPANTS: House Rep. Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Andy Biggs, Jim Jordan                                                                                                  

DATE, TIME               November 3, 2021,   9:42 am – 10:08 am   EDT

AND PLACE:              Capitol Building

McCarthy: Good morning. Let’s skip the greetings and get right to the point. As I am sure you all have noticed, the left’s image is becoming more appealing to Americans. Whether Americans are becoming more intelligent or all the idiots are dying off, I don’t know, but we are losing money. It’s not just corporate money, but money coming out of my pocket. This is unacceptable.

Biggs: Well, the Liberal’s infrastructure bill Biden and Pelosi are trying to push through is only making matters worse. I don’t understand why the Democrats care so much. The American dream is to get rich and work less, not look out for thy neighbor before thy self. They can do that in Europe.

Gaetz: Let’s not doubt the power we wield, gentlemen. We have the loyalties of the gullible Americans. Under the Trump Administration, we developed a cult and I don’t see them leaving our side anytime soon. I mean, we held a successful insurrection against the Democrats. It is clear no amount of logic or science is going to help the democratic cause. We have already won more than I even expected back in 2016.

Jordan: That is a naïve stance, Gaetz. We can’t win reelection without the support of some educated people, especially now that the democrats have made a college education more accessible. The rich know what’s good for them; they’ll stick with us, but the old people will die off, if not from Corona from something else. It is obvious the Liberals have their hands on the minds of young Americans. I mean, you just have to walk on a college campus. All the homosexual propaganda is disgusting. If we don’t expand our support, we will lose, and we will lose fast. I’m not just talking about re-election gentlemen, but those offshore bank accounts in the Cayman’s will start to drain if we don’t make a move.

McCarthy: I agree with your concerns, but I am still pleased with the response of Americans in Virginia. Their fight against Critical Race Theory, whatever that is, is inspiring. It won us statewide elections we haven’t won for decades. This shows promise, but let’s not stop there. The Critical Race Theory crap is something we can really imitate.

Jordan: Taxes, gun control, women’s rights, religious freedom, and white supremacy are not cutting it anymore. These issues are redundant and boring. We’ve been using them for the past 100 years and they have only gotten us this far. We need to think on a larger scale, get creative; we need to draw the attention of Americans using any means necessary. The less factual the better.

McCarthy: What do you have in mind?

Gaetz: What if we tell them that climate change is a ploy by Vegans to take away our hamburgers? 

Biggs: Done that. 

Gaetz: What if we tell them that the president was actually born in another country? 

McCarthy: We’ve done that too. It won us the 2010 midterms, actually.

Jordan: All of our past ploys have had one thing in common: they attack the liberal agenda. But it’s time we focus on the Republicans who have become the Democrats’ doormat. They are progressing the party in a disturbing direction. When did we start caring about people over profit? That’s for the Democrats to worry about.

McCarthy: If we really want to end them just say they’re communists. Americans will get riled up about anything, especially over things they don’t understand. The Red Scare of the 1950s is something we can imitate. Americans are too stupid to notice a correlation. Heck, no one even knows what communism is.

Biggs: I like it. If we want to really sell it, talk about a Bolshevik “terrorist” group, that’s how we can really win. Cold War part 2 anyone? We don’t actually need to make the conflict real. Americans just need to think there is a real threat. It’s just the right amount of insanity to seem logical.

McCarthy: This may be our best idea yet, gentlemen.